Daily Archives April 11, 2015

The Minister

One of the toughest tasks a church faces is choosing a good minister. The chairman of the official board undergoing this painful process finally lost patience.

He\’d just witnessed the Pastoral Selection Committee reject applicant after applicant for various minor faults — real or imagined. It was time, he thought, for a bit of soul-searching on the part of the committee. So, after the meeting adjourned, he wrote a letter to the Pastoral Selection Committee, which he stood-up and read at the next Pastoral Selection meeting. Supposedly, the letter was from another Pastoral applicant.

Gentlemen: Understanding your pulpit is vacant, I should like to apply for the
position. I have many qualifications. I\’ve been a preacher with much success and
also had some success as a writer...

The Fence

There was a little boy with a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, to hammer a nail in the back fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Then it gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.

Finally the day came when the boy didn\’t lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.

The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, \”You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence...

Tear Drops

They say memories are golden,
Well, maybe that is true;
I never wanted memories,
I only wanted you.

A million times I needed you,
A million times I cried;
If love alone could have saved you,
You never would have died.

In life I loved you dearly,
In death I love you still;
In my heart you hold a piece
No one could ever fill.

But now I know you want me
To mourn for you no more,
To remember the happy times
Life still has much in store.

Since you\’ll never be forgotten
I pledge to you today;
A hallowed place within my heart
Is where you\’ll always stay.

If tears could build a stairway
And heartache make a lane;
I\’d walk the path to heaven
And bring you back again.

Our family chain is broken,
and nothing seems the same;
But as God calls us one by one,
The chain will link again.

A World of Smile

About ten years ago when I was an undergraduate in college, I was working as an intern at my University\’s Museum of Natural History. One day while working at the cash register in the gift shop, I saw an elderly couple come in with a little girl in a wheelchair.

As I looked closer at this girl, I saw that she was kind of perched on her chair. I then realized she had no arms or legs, just a head, neck and torso. She was wearing a little white dress with red polka dots.

As the couple wheeled her up to me I was looking down at the register. I turned my head toward the girl and gave her a wink. As I took the money from her grandparents, I looked back at the girl, who was giving me the cutest, largest smile I have ever seen...

Ass and the Mule, The

A Muleteer set forth on a journey, driving before him an Ass and a Mule, both well laden. The Ass, as long as he traveled along the plain, carried his load with ease, but when he began to ascend the steep path of the mountain, felt his load to be more than he could bear. He entreated his companion to relieve him of a small portion, that he might carry home the rest; but the Mule paid no attention to the request. The Ass shortly afterwards fell down dead under his burden. Not knowing what else to do in so wild a region, the Muleteer placed upon the Mule the load carried by the Ass in addition to his own, and at the top of all placed the hide of the Ass, after he had skinned him. The Mule, groaning beneath his heavy burden, said to himself: \”I am treated according to my deserts...